Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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