you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
