she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
