Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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