Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
