Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
