need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
only you would photoshop your dick
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
