between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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