HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
