I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
