we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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