i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sober January is a disaster.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
