Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
