I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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