I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize