U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
