No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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