Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
