After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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