Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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