I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
