Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
