Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
