Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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