Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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