You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
