Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
