i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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