I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
