fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize