Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
