I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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