I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
