I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
