so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
