So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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