it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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