I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
