i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
