I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
