he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
