I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
