So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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