I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
