If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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