all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize