i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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