My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
