I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
