so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
