what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
