even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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