My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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