at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
