Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I believe in your delicious
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
