So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
