My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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