Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
