If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
